The title, “Instill Gratitude, Not Attitude” by Farnoosh Torabi in Money’s April 2015 issue caught my attention. Money matters are hard enough to grapple with as an adult but balancing the budget with children seems almost impossible until we reflect on our own personal attitudes. The author of this relevant article stated, “No matter where you live raising kids who appreciate the value of a dollar isn’t easy—and it’s only gotten tougher since my parents were doing it. “We’re in a world that conspires against waiting,” says Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. “So much is available so easily and for so much less money. It’s easy to be in a situation where kids can get what they want without having to sweat it out.”
If your child(ren), like mine (Litsa’s) is already obsessed with STUFF, what do you (we) do? Can the trend be reversed so that our children don’t grow to feel entitled to their every whim? Yes. Yes, they can is what the experts are saying.
What do we do it? How do we do raise grateful children?
Share a narrative with them. Giving school age children stories to visualize teaches them values. If spending less or not buying something is paralleled to them as it is in your budget, they begin to understand (i.e. We are not buying a _____ so that we can use that money to pay off a medical bill and/or go on a family vacation.). My daughter asks for a Sonic drink when we are at her Dad’s shop. It is a mile from our house. I don’t give in to that request. We discuss that tea or ice drinks are a treat when we are out exploring but not a necessity when we are pulling in to say hello. Wait time is relevant too.
Set limits. Clothing budgets for teens, a list that ranks desired toys in order of importance with little ones—-or give your child simple choices. For instance, if we are going to the grocery store, I give my daughter a shopping list so she can mark off what we ventured out to buy. She’s allowed to request one item that I approve of such as a fruit that I didn’t intend to buy or a bag of snacks/box of ice-cream that’s not already stocked in our home (but it has to be something she’ll consume and something that’s in our budget).
Make them earn it. Giving children chores and jobs to earn their own money is important but it must have parameters too. In this article, one set of parents paid for college tuition for their daughters but they had to pay for the EXTRAS like sorority dues, coffee with friends, etc.
Having a plan to help raise children that are grateful is vital to the family budget and society. I have found that the more time I spend with my daughter outdoors and indoors teaching her about the world, the less she requests. Together we venture through our days as I remember to model what I want her to learn about money. She’ll always know how to live with more but I want to teach her to live with less and feel blessed with all that she has, is given, and gives back.
Credit: Money Magazine April 2015
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